On the Subject of Inuyasha Pairings
by Kat-chan Is Grapefruit
Summary: Just as the title implies...this is a corny little story in play format... kind of... poking fun at Inuyasha pairings.
1. Chapter 1

"_On the Subject of Inuyasha Pairings"_

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_Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha. If I did own it, the world would be a very, very scary place to live. Later in the story, there is a reference to a "butt breeze." I don't own that, either. It belongs to Kuro of Ear-Tweak. I, erm, borrowed it. Without permission. o.o;_

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Konnichi wa yo! This is just random, meant to be corny. Though, do tell me if you happen to like it. Or, if you don't like it…tell me why. :only hungry for reviews: At the ending, I think I will put a little glossary of sorts for unfamiliar little Japanese phrases. That is, if I remember to. ):3

Other than that, enjoy.

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Kagome- Nee, Inuyasha…

Inuyasha- Aa?

Kagome- What if I told you I loved Kouga-kun?

Inuyasha- …Aa!

Kagome- What if I told you I loved Kouga-kun?

Inuyasha- But you don't, right?

Kagome- I don't know. Just answer my question.

Inuyasha- Would you love me instead if I killed him?

Kagome- …

Inuyasha- Nani?

Kagome- …Is that even a question!

Inuyasha- Isn't there a question mark!

Kagome- Then your answer is…

Inuyasha- Aa?..

Kagome- Osuwari.

Inuyasha- Wtf!

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:insert recovery time and a war:

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Kagome- Nee, Inuyasha…

Inuyasha- Aa?

Kagome- What if I said I was in love with your brother?

Inuyasha- You mean Sesshoumaru?

Kagome- Do you have another brother?..

Inuyasha- But didn't we just talk about this?

Kagome- Ee. Just answer.

Inuyasha- Who would be stupid enough to love that heartless B45T4R)?

Kagome- Haven't you ever seen that special, "The Woman Who Loved Sesshoumaru?"

Inuyasha- With the way he looks, it could've been, "The _Man _Who Loved Sesshoumaru."

Kagome- …

Inuyasha- ..?

Kagome- Only you would know.

Inuyasha- Well, it's kind of hard to miss how pretty he is when he gets right in your face!

Kagome- Tch. I knew it.

Inuyasha- Knew what?

Kagome- Nothing. Nevermind.

Inuyasha- Knew _what_?

Kagome- Osuwari.

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:insert recovery time and excessive bloodflow:

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Inuyasha- Kagura loved him.

Kagome- Well, duh. She stalked him like there was no tomorrow.

Inuyasha- Maybe she thought she wasn't going to _have _a tomorrow.

Kagome- And he _is _very pretty…

Inuyasha- …

Kagome- …

Inuyasha- …

Kagome- …

Inuyasha- …I'm not gay, y'know!

Kagome- I didn't say you were!

Inuyasha- Well, you implied it!

Kagome- I did not!

Inuyasha- Yes, you did!

Kagome- No, I didn't!

Inuyasha- You did!

Kagome- Did not!

Inuyasha- Did so!

Kagome- Did not!

Inuyasha- Did so!

Kagome- Osuwari!

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:insert a rock:

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Inuyasha- So…

Kagome- Nani?

Inuyasha- Do you think Sesshoumaru…

Kagome- ?

Inuyasha- …loves Rin?

Kagome- I dunno. Why do you ask?

Inuyasha- Would that make him a…pedophile if he did?

Kagome- Well, yeah… He's two hundred something, and she's under ten…_:Author's Note- I'm totally guessing Rin's age.:_

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:insert shudder:

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Inuyasha- Oh my god, he doesn't love her like that, right!

Kagome- How would I know!

Inuyasha- I don't know!

Kagome- Well, maybe you should ask him!

Inuyasha- Have a perfectly docile conversation…with Sesshoumaru?

Kagome- I doubt you've ever had a docile conversation in your life.

Inuyasha- I've had plenty, thanks!

Kagome- Sesshoumaru isn't all that bad, you know. Besides, you always start the fight.

Inuyasha- Not every time. -.-

Kagome- And he's fluffy. :big grin:

Inuyasha- …

Kagome- Something tells me that keeping Tessaiga out of his face would help just a little…

Inuyasha- But he's so fast that I-

Kagome- Come on.

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:insert great, lengthy journey:

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Sesshoumaru- …

Kagome- Ano…konnichi wa.

Sesshoumaru- …

Inuyasha- …

Rin- Konnichi wa!

Jaken- …

Inuyasha- …

Sesshoumaru- …

Inuyasha- …

Sesshoumaru- …

Inuyasha- …

Sesshoumaru- …

Inuyasha- …

Sesshoumaru- …

Inuyasha- …Ano…

Sesshoumaru- ..?

Inuyasha- …Yoo.

Sesshoumaru- ……………

Inuyasha- So, um…

Sesshoumaru- ……?

Inuyasha- Sesshoumaru, are you a pedophile?

Sesshoumaru- …………………………………………

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:insert the wind:

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Inuyasha- Was that just…a butt breeze!

Kagome- Isn't…Kagura the free wind?

Sesshoumaru- …Hai. -.-;

Inuyasha- So she still stalks you!

Sesshoumaru- Damare.

Kagome- I think we should leave…

Inuyasha- Aa…

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:insert a long, long journey, longer than the last for precautions against random butt breezes:

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Kagome- Well, now we know that Sesshoumaru isn't a pedophile…

Inuyasha- They always did say he was more of a father figure, anyway…

Kagome- Yeah…

Inuyasha- 6.6;

Kagome- 9.9;

Inuyasha- 9.9;

Kagome- 6.6;

Inuyasha- 6.9;

Kagome- O.o;

Inuyasha- So she gropes him?

Kagome- Osuwari.

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Bankotsu- I love my Banryuu.

Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.

Bankotsu- I love blood.

Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.

Bankotsu- I love killing people.

Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.

Bankotsu- I love killing youkai.

Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.

Bankotsu- I love blood.

Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.

Bankotsu- I love you, Jakotsu.

Jakotsu- I love Inuyasha.

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Naraku- Notice how my love life is totally neglected in this series.

Kanna- As Onigumo you loved Kikyou.

Naraku- That doesn't count.

Kanna- Oh.

Naraku- Why can't I have a love life!

Sesshoumaru- Because no one likes you and your boday (yes, bodAy) is ew.

Naraku- You shouldn't be one to speak, girly man.

Sesshoumaru- You don't have much room yourself to be talking about girly men, hanyou.

Naraku- How did you get in here, anyway?

Sesshoumaru- You forgot to put up your barrier today.

Naraku- Well, if you're wanting to kill me, you'll be disappointed.

Sesshoumaru- ..?

Naraku- My heart's run off.

Kanna- I wonder…could that be the reason for his lack of a love life?

Naraku- …

Sesshoumaru- …

Kanna- Apparently I said that out loud.

Inuyasha- If a heart is what keeps someone alive…does that mean my brother runs on batteries?

Sesshoumaru- …I prefer Duracell.

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Kagome- Nee, Inuyasha…

Inuyasha- Aa?

Kagome- Notice how many guys follow me and think I'm pretty, and realize that I could dump you and day.

Inuyasha- What brought this on?

Kagome- Do you love me?

Inuyasha- Nani?

Kagome- Do you love me?

Inuyasha- Kagome (kindly note my using your name), you know that my heart has unconditional, bottomless love for you and Kikyou.

Kagome- … -.-

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:insert murder:

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Kouga- Hakkaku, Ginta, do you think I chase the impossible?

Ginta- We think you're impossible to chase, if that counts.

Hakkaku- Totally. -.-

Kouga- … I meant Kagome.

Hakkaku- Oh, I never knew she ran that fast.

Kouga- Oh my god…nevermind…

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Sango- :smile:

Miroku- :smile:

Sango- :smile:

Miroku- :smile:

Sango- O.o!

Miroku- :wider smile:

Sango- :total P1554T10N:

Miroku- o.e;

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_The End_

Aa- a roughish way to say yes

Nani- what

Ee- yet another way to say yes

Hai- wouldn't you know it, this also means yes

Damare- this means shut up / be quiet

Nee- say / hey; this is used to grab attention

Youkai- demon(s)

Hanyou- half demon

Yoo (or You)- almost like saying yo…just in Japanese

Well, now that you have read…you desire to review, right? Right? Right.


	2. Chapter 2

"_On the Subject of Inuyasha Pairings"_

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_Disclaimer: No own. No sue. Though, I do think the basic idea for this belongs to my little brother. Putting that idea to work belongs to me, of course. Anyhow, enjoy. :3_

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Miroku- You know, Sango, I've been thinking.

Sango- What else is new?

Miroku- Inuyasha… Isn't he 200-some years old?

Sango- Aa? What of it?

Miroku- And Kagome-sama, she's…

Sango- Fifteen. o.O;

Miroku- O.o;

Sango- …

Miroku- …

Sango- …You've been thinking a little too much, Houshi-sama.

Miroku- Ee… Indeed…

Sango- …

Miroku- …

Sango- …Th-The weather is just lovely today. Don't you think, Houshi-sama?

Miroku- I really don't want to think anymore today.

Shippou- It's raining, dumb$h17.


End file.
